Adultery Causes a Crisis of Faith

I had a common-themed email the other day, where a betrayed spouse indicated that his faith was in jeopardy because he could not understand why God would allow adultery to occur within his marriage. I’ve decided to post my response (slightly lengthened and altered) for others who may be facing the same challenge:

As for Christianity, we know that even a man after God’s own heart (David) is capable of depraved sin (adultery and murder). However, we also know that forgiveness was extended even for these sins. If you would identify yourself with Christianity, there must be some reason. Is it because you have given your life and heart to God in submission and gratitude for the sacrifice that Christ made, trusting Christ’s redeeming work on the cross to save you?

If so, although your future as a child of God may be secure, you need to understand that even believers are not immune to faltering faith at times. We know that there was no man born of woman better than John the Baptist. John saw (with his own two eyes) the spirit of God descend on Christ at Christ’s baptism, and even recognized Christ as the savior when he and Christ were yet in their mother’s wombs (John leaped for joy while inside of Elizabeth). However, when John the Baptist was in prison for a while, persecuted as a prophet, John sent his disciples to ask Jesus “Are you the one or should we look for another?” This is because John was expecting (in his human understanding) the Christ to wage an immediate war to subdue the nations for God. But Christ was not doing what John expected. God’s plan was not to wage an immediate war but to present Christ as a lamb, a sacrifice, to pay for the sins of the world first. Why? Because God was willing that all should be saved, and he was paving the way so that whosoever called on the name of the Lord would in fact be saved. Because John did not understand what had yet to be revealed – because his expectations did not account for God’s true plan – he doubted whether Jesus was the Christ.

When we are in our own prisons and trials, it is easy for us to lose sight of God because we do not always understand why God allows certain things to occur until well after those events are concluded. We can just as easily lose sight of God when things are easy and trouble-free for a long period of time – when we feel like we have no need for God, because we think we are handling things just fine on our own. However, although we may lose sight of God, he never loses sight of us. He has not told us that we will be without trials or hardship in this world. (In fact, he has told us the opposite – to expect trials and tribulation.) What he has promised is that when we belong to him, that we will not have such heartache and hardship in the next life, and that he “will never leave you or forsake you, even to the end of the age.” In fact, he proved his deep love for us (while we were yet sinners) by dying to pay for the sins we have committed, so that we would know just how deep and serious his love for us is, and recognize the magnitude of his desire that we be reconciled to him for eternity.

What God has also promised is that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. While love can manifest as an emotion, love is primarily a behavior. If we say we have love (emotion), but we do not act like it (behavior), then we do not really have love. To love God is to behave in love towards God. Christ said, if you love me, keep my commandments. What were his commandments? That we love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul, and mind, and our neighbor as ourselves. He did not command us to feel a certain way, he commanded us to act in a certain way. That is, to act in love: first, towards God completely, and then towards everyone else. This is his purpose, to which we are all called. And to those who do love God (in action and for his purpose), all things will work together for good. We may not understand what God has been up to in allowing anything for some time, but in the end we will know, just like Joseph knew. Joseph was horribly betrayed, sold into slavery, falsely accused, and imprisoned, but after many years and much hardship, it was Joseph who said that what others meant for evil, God meant for good.

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